Diane Darling's Blog

Food & networking

Almost every event I attend has food .... and that's usually a good thing. Unless you can't possibly eat and shake hands. So here are a few tips for anyone serving food.

• Bite-size ... yes, SMALL. Don't make the appetizers too large
• Sauces - NO! I don't want something dripping down my hand
• Bones - Please no! What do I do with the buffalo wing when I'm done?
• Napkins - Yes, have them everywhere
• Breath mints - a good idea to have them around .... :-)

 

Week 02 - "Thank you project" // Who has helped your career?

This week's note .... who has helped your career?

Think of people who have helped your career. For example, someone who wrote a reference for you to get a job or a client. Was there someone who suggested you go for a promotion? Did you write a thank you note? Do they know you got the promotion? Was there someone who write a reference for you to get into grad school?

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Sample #1 - Someone who gave you a job reference

Dear __________,

I was thinking of you the other day when I was at work. I remember how wonderful you were to take the time to write a letter of reference which helped me get the job.

Please let me know if I can be a resource for you at any time.

Best ~ (your name), (your cell #)

 

Sample #2 - Someone who introduced you to a new customer/client

Dear __________,

I was thinking of you the other day when I was meeting with ___________. I remember how wonderful you were to take the time to introduce us.

Please let me know if I can be a resource for you at any time.

Best ~ (your name), (your cell #)

Here's more background about the Thank You Project .... please join me and invite your friends.

Wish you could do this? Too funny!

Hard to believe what's happened this past week ..... and in the middle of it all was a VERY adorable 3-year-old who had just had enough. What's great about kids is that they are totally authentic. Every so often I wish I could just cover my ears! 

In case you missed the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton, here's a link to Buckingham Palace.

 

 

Thoughts on how to gracefully (yes her name is Grace) find some quiet when you need it:

• If you're an introvert and just don't like events, limit the number you attend. I'm a VERY friendly person but I get overwhelmed quickly in large crowds and when I don't know people. I am absolutely capable of talking to people I don't know but after awhile, enough is enough. I just want to network with my remote control. So I suggest you avoid taking on too much.
• If you have to attend for example, you're the flower girl ..... find a buddy to help you. Maybe even the maid of honor. Be willing to let others know you need them. 
• Invite someone to join you at the food table or the bar. Often others are there, you can introduce yourself, bring the other person into the conversation.
• Exchange business cards and suggest you speak further at a later time. Often when there are fewer distractions, you can be more focused and enjoy the conversation.
• If you have a role at the event (e.g. flower girl), it's easier to get out of conversations since you need to be available for photos or meeting others.
• If you don't have a role, arrive with some conversation starters. Comment about the event or how you know the person or organization hosting it.

While big events like this don't happen every day, they can zap our energy. There are many other ways to network besides attending them so find your own style!

Cheers ~ Diane 

p.s. I happened to live in London as a nanny when Diana and Charles were married. It was amazing to watch the carriages go by. Hard to believe it will be 30 years ago this summer!

 

What's worse when networking .... bad handshake or bad breath? Plz vote!

Are you getting "actionable" feedback?

Sometimes I get brilliant ideas first thing in the morning. The problem is remembering them after I'm actually awake enough to process them.

Today was one of those lucky days. I had a brilliant idea AND I remembered it.

Now mind you, it may not be as brilliant as I think but here goes.

Yesterday I taught a workshop and the core of the curriculum was to provide "actionable feedback" to people. No dancing around the topic. Face it head on ... as long as you know what the topic is.

All this lead me to realize how rarely we get feedback. I mean true feedback. The stuff we don't always want to know.

I gave everyone a personality assessment. For some it was pleasant than others. 

Since I work for myself I don't get a job review. I have no idea if I'm doing well or lousy. Business goes up and down, but that's not necessarily a sign that I'm not delivering great programs. It is a sign of how much effort I'm putting into meeting prospects.

So what I did several years ago was send out a survey to people I liked and I thought would offer actionable feedback. I didn't only want to hear nice stuff. I wanted the grit!

As it turns out, what I needed to change most was .... my clothes! Who knew!

Turns out my style was a bit too casual for my corporate audience.

So here's my tip .... go to Survey Monkey. Set up a very brief survey and send it to ~ 40+ people who have an opinion you respect. Mind you all of them won't respond, but you'll get a start.

Ask what are your strengths? What are your areas for improvement? Is there something you are ovelooking that is getting in your way?

Not the easiest task, but I encourage you to give it a shot. 

Open office hours on Wednesday

I'm inspired by Scott Kirsner, columnist for the Boston Globe. He is hosting "open office hours" and has invited others to do the same.

So here's the invitation .....

• Wednesday, November 25th
• Open time from 9 - 9:30 (I'll talk with whomever is there)
• 10 minute appointments from 9:30 - 10:30 am
• Please sign up - http://www.doodle.com/w58as36yrksyy94z
• Starbucks at Fresh Pond

Here's the technical address .... it's AFTER Dunkin Donuts, in the same building at the Best Western, BEFORE you get to Fresh Pond Mall with Whole Foods (aka Whole checkbook).

222 Alewife Brook Parkway
Cambridge, MA 02138

Networking tips for techies

Thank you Mass High Tech ....

Contribute to my book!

It's amazing to think that when my first book was published in 2003, Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter didn't exist!

Now I'm doing a revision and I'm inviting you to make a contribution.

• How have you used social networking sites to meet people face-to-face?
• What works for you?
• What doesn't work?

You are invited to share your stories, experiences, tips, etc. Here's what I'm looking for:

• Story of how you use both online and offline to network
• 300-700 words
• More focused on building community than personal reconnections.
• Please send a draft to me by Friday, September 25th
• Email to: Diane@EffectiveNetworking.com

Many thanks and happy writing! ~ Diane

What's your event's "friendly factor" ...

It was a spectacular summer night in Boston. I had a good day, just helped some people with networking challenges, and was thinking about what I should do after work.

I typically put events on the calendar with a question mark - then I can decide what appeals to me based on timing, location, who will be there, the topic, and candidly my mood.

I picked a group I had wanted to check out for awhile. It was a forum for women discussing global and local issues and how you can help.

The hotel had a sign when you got off the elevator so I walked that direction. There were numerous options from there. I walked by two women having an intense conversation - you know the boxed in body language that says, "don't interrupt us."

Fortunately I know the hotel function space and found my way out to the deck. There were a number of tables with groups all set. One had a sign so I knew that wasn't what I was looking for. I walked around, didn't see anyone I knew, no one said hello, so I headed back to the front desk to inquire more.

As I walked by the two women still in private conversation, one said to me, "are you looking for _____ group?" She pointed me back to the deck. I said I had just been out there but it seemed like private little groups so I wasn't sure. The two of them continued to explain where the group was.

Hello ... that wasn't the problem!

I went back out with the vapor of energy I had left and thought I'll give it another shot.

I walked around the two tables, no one got up, I finally saw one person I knew, who gave me the obligatory wave (she's one of the hosts), and she went back to her conversation.

Now I was really running on thin vapor. I felt like a complete idiot for attending and was saying a thank you in my head that my guest hadn't been able to join me.

I gave it another shot but walking over to the host. She stayed seated, looked up and commented how there were too few chairs and we would have to rotate who stood and who sat down.

Another person complained that the champagne was flat, cut in front of me to complain to the waiter while another person talked about the summer house rotation.

Mind you the group was advertised as one that is forum for women helping each other.

I ended up excusing myself and networked with my sneakers for a good long walk.

Yikes!

Networking to increase sales // you're invited - webinar on June 18th

Join us for the eagerly-awaited Webinar:

Master The Fine Art Of Networking To
Win Clients And Increase Sales!

Reach out to the right people in the right way. Play to your strengths. Overcome your fears. Do your homework, and target your ideal clients...and the people who can get you close to them. Employ the techniques that transform card-carrying introverts into networking superstars.

Presented by Diane Darling, this engaging 1-hour session will cover:

• Unlocking the networking potential of current relationships
• Networking strategies in a down economy
• Building the right relationships for future gain
• Networking with people who know your ideal clients
• Networking tips for a variety of personality types
• and more...

Diane Darling is Founder and CEO of Effective Networking, and author of "The Networking Survival Guide" and "Networking for Career Success". She has appeared on NBC Nightly News, in The Wall Street Journal, San Francisco Chronicle, and The Boston Globe. She recently taught in the MBA program at Boston University. Register now!

Kind regards,

Rich Baker
CEO & Founder
Glance Networks, Inc.
glance@glance.net
1-877-452-6236 or
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Webinar Details:

Date/Time: Thursday, June 18, 1pm ET, 10am PT

Duration: 1 hour

Price: Free!

Presenter: Diane Darling of Effective Networking

Where: On your computer. Sign up
and receive a URL and phone number to join the session in one-click.

Sponsors:

Glance, makers of the one-click web demo tool

Meeting Zone, the conference call people