Diane Darling's Blog

Historic handshakes

Here are some of history's most important handshakes ..... your thoughts?

Presidential LinkedIn profiles - what's your opinion

I was recently asked to review both Mitt Romney and Barack Obama's LinkedIn profiles.

My remarks appeared in Inc. magazine ....

Learn From Obama's LinkedIn Profile

Memo to Mitt: Fix Your LinkedIn Page!

what are your thoughts?

 

Week 02 - "Thank you project" // Who has helped your career?

This week's note .... who has helped your career?

Think of people who have helped your career. For example, someone who wrote a reference for you to get a job or a client. Was there someone who suggested you go for a promotion? Did you write a thank you note? Do they know you got the promotion? Was there someone who write a reference for you to get into grad school?

----------------------------------------------

Sample #1 - Someone who gave you a job reference

Dear __________,

I was thinking of you the other day when I was at work. I remember how wonderful you were to take the time to write a letter of reference which helped me get the job.

Please let me know if I can be a resource for you at any time.

Best ~ (your name), (your cell #)

 

Sample #2 - Someone who introduced you to a new customer/client

Dear __________,

I was thinking of you the other day when I was meeting with ___________. I remember how wonderful you were to take the time to introduce us.

Please let me know if I can be a resource for you at any time.

Best ~ (your name), (your cell #)

Here's more background about the Thank You Project .... please join me and invite your friends.

Inviting you to join "the thank you project"

• Are you looking to differentiate yourself from your competitors?
• Trying to find a way to reach prospects, donors, or employees?
• Want to save money?

I'm inviting you to join "the thank you project."

According to a U.S. Postal Service survey, the average American receives a personal, handwritten piece of mail once every seven weeks. NBC's Brian Williams reports.

Here's the project ....

• Most of us have notecards somewhere in a drawer
• Find 4 of them - don't over think this. If it turns out you like this project, you can design cards later, get them printed or something else.
• For now ... think SIMPLE and SHORT
• We'll just send notes in January
• Find 4 stamps - again, you probably have them in a drawer. The best part is the USPS now has FOREVER stamps.
• Here are a few of my favorite FOREVER stamps
  • Indy 500
  • Jazz
  • Mark Twain
  • Neon Celebrate
• Use what you have - again, DON'T over think ......
• Now put the stamps on all 4 envelopes
• Write your return address on all 4 envelopes
• Put in your calendar to write a thank you note for the next 4 Fridays
• Each Thursday night I'll post on this blog some sample ideas of what you can write in your note
• Write a note to someone who has helped you that week or just say hello to someone who came to mind and you haven't talked to in awhile

Common mistakes:

• Overthinking
• Trying to say too much - 3-4 lines is plenty
• This simply should say thank you! Not explain anything about you or your business
• Blaming your bad handwriting - just print!
• Concerned you've waited too long - just send it

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here are an idea for what to write this Friday, January 6th .......

Dear ______________,

Happy New Year! I hope you had a wonderful holiday season.

Just a quick note to say thank you for your business last year. I look forward to being a resource for you in 2012.

Look forward to crossing paths before too long soon.

Best ~ ___________________

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Voila! You're done! More next Friday! And yes, it will be Friday, the 13th

You're investment for this project is:

• Notecards - probably in your drawer
• Stamps - either in your drawer or 44 cents x 4 = a whopping $1.76
• 5 minutes each Friday

I look forward to hearing your results ... and yes, you can send me an email instead of a handwritten note. Just send it to: Diane at EffectiveNetworking dot com or you can send me a Tweet @DianeDarling.

Let's use the hashtag #FridayNotes .....

Declutter your network

One of the best parts about it getting dark so early is that I get more done. When it's nice outside, the last thing I want to do is stay inside and work.

Now that it's dusk at 4 pm, I'm getting so much work done.

One of my top priorities this winter is to declutter my network. I want to streamline my systems and make them more effective for me and others.

Here are a few tips:

1. Email newsletters. I've created a "Not right now" folder. I also created a "rule" in my email for newsletters to go directly there. I love reading them! But they don't need to be read in real time.
2. Return emails with a phone call. I find when I do this it declutters my inbox, my to-do list, and most importantly .... my brain.
3. Not to-do list. I heard the other day that author of "Good to Great" Jim Collins says that the successful people in the world are people who have a "not to-do list." This makes so much sense.
4. Who makes you feel good. Write a list of people who make you feel good about yourself. This doesn't mean they tell you you're perfect. But they are just nice. Schedule something with them sooner rather than later.
5. Organize your business cards. For me, it's overwhelming and when I get behind it's really not pretty. I try ... the operative word is TRY to organize the cards I receive at least once a week.

Enjoy! ~ Diane 

21 curious observations

I'm not sure which one is my favorite but #20 explains A LOT! :-)

 

1.  I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2.  Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3.  I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4.  There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5.  How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6.  Was learning cursive really necessary?

7.  Google Maps really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8.  I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

9.  Bad decisions make good stories.

10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

12. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

13. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

14. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

15. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

16. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

17. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

18. Sometimes I'll look at my phone for the time, three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

19. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their mobile phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

20. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

21. Anytime someone says "to be honest with you" means, they have been misleading you most of the time.

 

Aggressive networkers and how to deal with them ...

I'm jazzed to attend an upcoming conference and found it intriguing that attendees have been asked ahead of time to abstain from "aggressive networking."

As someone who writes and teaches networking skills, it got me thinking. Well certainly something must have come up in order for the organizers to feel they needed to explicitly state this.

As Thomas Paine said, "The funny thing about common sense is that it's not that common."

So here are my thoughts on what is aggressive networking and some appropriate solutions:

• Premature business card exchange. It unnerves me when someone asks for my card before we've even had a conversation. I politely give it but cautiously what is going to happen next. Yes at a conference there are networking opportunities. However, your first priority should be to learn and to share knowledge. When you have an authentic conversation (more on that next), ask yourself if there is something further you would like to share. Ideally it's more than an attachment or brochure about your company. After that interaction has happened, then it is time to exchange business cards.
• Not having authentic conversations. Small talk is appropriate and polite. It often leads into authentic conversations where you find out what you have in common. Don't rush! Networking is NOT sales. Leave that conversation to a later venue.  
• Monopolizing conversations. Most people are thrilled when they meet someone who interests them. It is tempting to hang out with them. However if it's awkward for the other person to leave the conversation, perhaps you are too intense. Watch your body language. Don't stand square at someone and box them in. Be sure others walking by can join the conversation and your body languages indicates that. After 5-8 minutes, consider moving on and talking with others.
• Talking too long about yourself or business. Indeed people you know will ask for an update and people you meet will ask what you do. Have a brief response (2-3 sentences and no more than 60 seconds). Keep your conversations focused on the event. Ask what speakers they have found interesting? And be sure to ask about them.
• Disrespecting private time. The restroom is a place to .... rest and well where you find some relief! This is not the time to start a conversation. Especially if they are walking in. The same is true if someone is on the phone. (If you need to make a call during a conference, please leave the room!)
• Not following up. I find it aggressive (and candidly unprofessional) if someone says they're going to follow up on our conversation and they don't. Or worse, if they follow up and only talk about themselves. Set aside 90 minutes after the event. Because you've focused on quality interactions, not quantity, you can easily send an email (or even snail mail) each person you met.

What are your thoughts about "aggressive networking" and how to deal with it?

Wish you could do this? Too funny!

Hard to believe what's happened this past week ..... and in the middle of it all was a VERY adorable 3-year-old who had just had enough. What's great about kids is that they are totally authentic. Every so often I wish I could just cover my ears! 

In case you missed the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton, here's a link to Buckingham Palace.

 

 

Thoughts on how to gracefully (yes her name is Grace) find some quiet when you need it:

• If you're an introvert and just don't like events, limit the number you attend. I'm a VERY friendly person but I get overwhelmed quickly in large crowds and when I don't know people. I am absolutely capable of talking to people I don't know but after awhile, enough is enough. I just want to network with my remote control. So I suggest you avoid taking on too much.
• If you have to attend for example, you're the flower girl ..... find a buddy to help you. Maybe even the maid of honor. Be willing to let others know you need them. 
• Invite someone to join you at the food table or the bar. Often others are there, you can introduce yourself, bring the other person into the conversation.
• Exchange business cards and suggest you speak further at a later time. Often when there are fewer distractions, you can be more focused and enjoy the conversation.
• If you have a role at the event (e.g. flower girl), it's easier to get out of conversations since you need to be available for photos or meeting others.
• If you don't have a role, arrive with some conversation starters. Comment about the event or how you know the person or organization hosting it.

While big events like this don't happen every day, they can zap our energy. There are many other ways to network besides attending them so find your own style!

Cheers ~ Diane 

p.s. I happened to live in London as a nanny when Diana and Charles were married. It was amazing to watch the carriages go by. Hard to believe it will be 30 years ago this summer!

 

Who let the fans out!?

Greetings and happy 2011!

I now live one block from the TD Garden, home to the Boston Celtics and Boston Bruins.

Over the holidays Disney on Ice was playing there. It was an interesting insight to brand marketing. My first thought when I saw lots of dotting dads with daughters in tutus in hand was ... who are these adorable people?

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big sports fan ... but what a difference in the neighborhood.

Instead of horns blaring and people screaming out their windows late at night, you had people wave each other in traffic and let pedestrians cross without a flash of a finger.

I just noticed that World Wrestling Entertainment is coming in a few weeks. Hmmm - doubt I'll see any tutus!

What's worse when networking .... bad handshake or bad breath? Plz vote!