Diane Darling's Blog

Food & networking

Almost every event I attend has food .... and that's usually a good thing. Unless you can't possibly eat and shake hands. So here are a few tips for anyone serving food.

• Bite-size ... yes, SMALL. Don't make the appetizers too large
• Sauces - NO! I don't want something dripping down my hand
• Bones - Please no! What do I do with the buffalo wing when I'm done?
• Napkins - Yes, have them everywhere
• Breath mints - a good idea to have them around .... :-)

 

Presidential LinkedIn profiles - what's your opinion

I was recently asked to review both Mitt Romney and Barack Obama's LinkedIn profiles.

My remarks appeared in Inc. magazine ....

Learn From Obama's LinkedIn Profile

Memo to Mitt: Fix Your LinkedIn Page!

what are your thoughts?

 

Week 02 - "Thank you project" // Who has helped your career?

This week's note .... who has helped your career?

Think of people who have helped your career. For example, someone who wrote a reference for you to get a job or a client. Was there someone who suggested you go for a promotion? Did you write a thank you note? Do they know you got the promotion? Was there someone who write a reference for you to get into grad school?

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Sample #1 - Someone who gave you a job reference

Dear __________,

I was thinking of you the other day when I was at work. I remember how wonderful you were to take the time to write a letter of reference which helped me get the job.

Please let me know if I can be a resource for you at any time.

Best ~ (your name), (your cell #)

 

Sample #2 - Someone who introduced you to a new customer/client

Dear __________,

I was thinking of you the other day when I was meeting with ___________. I remember how wonderful you were to take the time to introduce us.

Please let me know if I can be a resource for you at any time.

Best ~ (your name), (your cell #)

Here's more background about the Thank You Project .... please join me and invite your friends.

Inviting you to join "the thank you project"

• Are you looking to differentiate yourself from your competitors?
• Trying to find a way to reach prospects, donors, or employees?
• Want to save money?

I'm inviting you to join "the thank you project."

According to a U.S. Postal Service survey, the average American receives a personal, handwritten piece of mail once every seven weeks. NBC's Brian Williams reports.

Here's the project ....

• Most of us have notecards somewhere in a drawer
• Find 4 of them - don't over think this. If it turns out you like this project, you can design cards later, get them printed or something else.
• For now ... think SIMPLE and SHORT
• We'll just send notes in January
• Find 4 stamps - again, you probably have them in a drawer. The best part is the USPS now has FOREVER stamps.
• Here are a few of my favorite FOREVER stamps
  • Indy 500
  • Jazz
  • Mark Twain
  • Neon Celebrate
• Use what you have - again, DON'T over think ......
• Now put the stamps on all 4 envelopes
• Write your return address on all 4 envelopes
• Put in your calendar to write a thank you note for the next 4 Fridays
• Each Thursday night I'll post on this blog some sample ideas of what you can write in your note
• Write a note to someone who has helped you that week or just say hello to someone who came to mind and you haven't talked to in awhile

Common mistakes:

• Overthinking
• Trying to say too much - 3-4 lines is plenty
• This simply should say thank you! Not explain anything about you or your business
• Blaming your bad handwriting - just print!
• Concerned you've waited too long - just send it

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Here are an idea for what to write this Friday, January 6th .......

Dear ______________,

Happy New Year! I hope you had a wonderful holiday season.

Just a quick note to say thank you for your business last year. I look forward to being a resource for you in 2012.

Look forward to crossing paths before too long soon.

Best ~ ___________________

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Voila! You're done! More next Friday! And yes, it will be Friday, the 13th

You're investment for this project is:

• Notecards - probably in your drawer
• Stamps - either in your drawer or 44 cents x 4 = a whopping $1.76
• 5 minutes each Friday

I look forward to hearing your results ... and yes, you can send me an email instead of a handwritten note. Just send it to: Diane at EffectiveNetworking dot com or you can send me a Tweet @DianeDarling.

Let's use the hashtag #FridayNotes .....

Aggressive networkers and how to deal with them ...

I'm jazzed to attend an upcoming conference and found it intriguing that attendees have been asked ahead of time to abstain from "aggressive networking."

As someone who writes and teaches networking skills, it got me thinking. Well certainly something must have come up in order for the organizers to feel they needed to explicitly state this.

As Thomas Paine said, "The funny thing about common sense is that it's not that common."

So here are my thoughts on what is aggressive networking and some appropriate solutions:

• Premature business card exchange. It unnerves me when someone asks for my card before we've even had a conversation. I politely give it but cautiously what is going to happen next. Yes at a conference there are networking opportunities. However, your first priority should be to learn and to share knowledge. When you have an authentic conversation (more on that next), ask yourself if there is something further you would like to share. Ideally it's more than an attachment or brochure about your company. After that interaction has happened, then it is time to exchange business cards.
• Not having authentic conversations. Small talk is appropriate and polite. It often leads into authentic conversations where you find out what you have in common. Don't rush! Networking is NOT sales. Leave that conversation to a later venue.  
• Monopolizing conversations. Most people are thrilled when they meet someone who interests them. It is tempting to hang out with them. However if it's awkward for the other person to leave the conversation, perhaps you are too intense. Watch your body language. Don't stand square at someone and box them in. Be sure others walking by can join the conversation and your body languages indicates that. After 5-8 minutes, consider moving on and talking with others.
• Talking too long about yourself or business. Indeed people you know will ask for an update and people you meet will ask what you do. Have a brief response (2-3 sentences and no more than 60 seconds). Keep your conversations focused on the event. Ask what speakers they have found interesting? And be sure to ask about them.
• Disrespecting private time. The restroom is a place to .... rest and well where you find some relief! This is not the time to start a conversation. Especially if they are walking in. The same is true if someone is on the phone. (If you need to make a call during a conference, please leave the room!)
• Not following up. I find it aggressive (and candidly unprofessional) if someone says they're going to follow up on our conversation and they don't. Or worse, if they follow up and only talk about themselves. Set aside 90 minutes after the event. Because you've focused on quality interactions, not quantity, you can easily send an email (or even snail mail) each person you met.

What are your thoughts about "aggressive networking" and how to deal with it?

Wish you could do this? Too funny!

Hard to believe what's happened this past week ..... and in the middle of it all was a VERY adorable 3-year-old who had just had enough. What's great about kids is that they are totally authentic. Every so often I wish I could just cover my ears! 

In case you missed the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton, here's a link to Buckingham Palace.

 

 

Thoughts on how to gracefully (yes her name is Grace) find some quiet when you need it:

• If you're an introvert and just don't like events, limit the number you attend. I'm a VERY friendly person but I get overwhelmed quickly in large crowds and when I don't know people. I am absolutely capable of talking to people I don't know but after awhile, enough is enough. I just want to network with my remote control. So I suggest you avoid taking on too much.
• If you have to attend for example, you're the flower girl ..... find a buddy to help you. Maybe even the maid of honor. Be willing to let others know you need them. 
• Invite someone to join you at the food table or the bar. Often others are there, you can introduce yourself, bring the other person into the conversation.
• Exchange business cards and suggest you speak further at a later time. Often when there are fewer distractions, you can be more focused and enjoy the conversation.
• If you have a role at the event (e.g. flower girl), it's easier to get out of conversations since you need to be available for photos or meeting others.
• If you don't have a role, arrive with some conversation starters. Comment about the event or how you know the person or organization hosting it.

While big events like this don't happen every day, they can zap our energy. There are many other ways to network besides attending them so find your own style!

Cheers ~ Diane 

p.s. I happened to live in London as a nanny when Diana and Charles were married. It was amazing to watch the carriages go by. Hard to believe it will be 30 years ago this summer!

 

Just 13, Framingham boy is already a social media guru - The Boston Globe

CAMBRIDGE — Lane Sutton is tweeting from the second row of a social media conference at the Microsoft campus here in Kendall Square. He’s armed with an iPad and iPhone, and a consulting pitch he can deliver in a smooth minute.

via www.boston.com

I'm incredibly lucky to know Lane and his parents personally. It's great to see the creativity and curiosity of the up-and-coming generation.

Are you getting "actionable" feedback?

Sometimes I get brilliant ideas first thing in the morning. The problem is remembering them after I'm actually awake enough to process them.

Today was one of those lucky days. I had a brilliant idea AND I remembered it.

Now mind you, it may not be as brilliant as I think but here goes.

Yesterday I taught a workshop and the core of the curriculum was to provide "actionable feedback" to people. No dancing around the topic. Face it head on ... as long as you know what the topic is.

All this lead me to realize how rarely we get feedback. I mean true feedback. The stuff we don't always want to know.

I gave everyone a personality assessment. For some it was pleasant than others. 

Since I work for myself I don't get a job review. I have no idea if I'm doing well or lousy. Business goes up and down, but that's not necessarily a sign that I'm not delivering great programs. It is a sign of how much effort I'm putting into meeting prospects.

So what I did several years ago was send out a survey to people I liked and I thought would offer actionable feedback. I didn't only want to hear nice stuff. I wanted the grit!

As it turns out, what I needed to change most was .... my clothes! Who knew!

Turns out my style was a bit too casual for my corporate audience.

So here's my tip .... go to Survey Monkey. Set up a very brief survey and send it to ~ 40+ people who have an opinion you respect. Mind you all of them won't respond, but you'll get a start.

Ask what are your strengths? What are your areas for improvement? Is there something you are ovelooking that is getting in your way?

Not the easiest task, but I encourage you to give it a shot. 

Undercover boss

Never mind that I'm reeling from Super Bowl (congrats to New Orleans - how amazing), I just watched CBS's new show about executives that go undercover to learn what's REALLY happening at the office.

I call this internal networking ... what a better way to build teams and motivate employees by actually experiencing what they do each day.

Kudos to Waste Management!

When executives have a chance to hear what's really happening, the company will save money, time, and recruit/retain top talent.

While taking off a week with a TV crew might not be realistic, here are some lessons Larry shared with the viewers:

• Everything can't get fixed at once - start small
• Listen - Larry easily could have turned down a dinner invitation but he knew he would learn more by visiting with Janice's family (I think that's her name)
• Productivity can be measured in many ways. While talking to customers when you're picking up their trash may delay your route, retaining the employee (and obviously customer) increases loyalty and reduces costs.
• Everyone has a story. Who knew the special needs customer would touch Larry's heart and remind him of his daughter.
• Be willing to admit you've made some mistakes

Become a Facebook of the show.

Follow the show on Twitter.

Next week should be interesting when the CEO of Hooter's goes undercover .... well who knows if that's literal or not!

Open office hours on Wednesday

I'm inspired by Scott Kirsner, columnist for the Boston Globe. He is hosting "open office hours" and has invited others to do the same.

So here's the invitation .....

• Wednesday, November 25th
• Open time from 9 - 9:30 (I'll talk with whomever is there)
• 10 minute appointments from 9:30 - 10:30 am
• Please sign up - http://www.doodle.com/w58as36yrksyy94z
• Starbucks at Fresh Pond

Here's the technical address .... it's AFTER Dunkin Donuts, in the same building at the Best Western, BEFORE you get to Fresh Pond Mall with Whole Foods (aka Whole checkbook).

222 Alewife Brook Parkway
Cambridge, MA 02138