I'm jazzed to attend an upcoming conference and found it intriguing that attendees have been asked ahead of time to abstain from "aggressive networking."
As someone who writes and teaches networking skills, it got me thinking. Well certainly something must have come up in order for the organizers to feel they needed to explicitly state this.
As Thomas Paine said, "The funny thing about common sense is that it's not that common."
So here are my thoughts on what is aggressive networking and some appropriate solutions:
- Premature business card exchange. It unnerves me when someone asks for my card before we've even had a conversation. I politely give it but cautiously what is going to happen next. Yes at a conference there are networking opportunities. However, your first priority should be to learn and to share knowledge. When you have an authentic conversation (more on that next), ask yourself if there is something further you would like to share. Ideally it's more than an attachment or brochure about your company. After that interaction has happened, then it is time to exchange business cards.
- Not having authentic conversations. Small talk is appropriate and polite. It often leads into authentic conversations where you find out what you have in common. Don't rush! Networking is NOT sales. Leave that conversation to a later venue.
- Monopolizing conversations. Most people are thrilled when they meet someone who interests them. It is tempting to hang out with them. However if it's awkward for the other person to leave the conversation, perhaps you are too intense. Watch your body language. Don't stand square at someone and box them in. Be sure others walking by can join the conversation and your body languages indicates that. After 5-8 minutes, consider moving on and talking with others.
- Talking too long about yourself or business. Indeed people you know will ask for an update and people you meet will ask what you do. Have a brief response (2-3 sentences and no more than 60 seconds). Keep your conversations focused on the event. Ask what speakers they have found interesting? And be sure to ask about them.
- Disrespecting private time. The restroom is a place to .... rest and well where you find some relief! This is not the time to start a conversation. Especially if they are walking in. The same is true if someone is on the phone. (If you need to make a call during a conference, please leave the room!)
- Not following up. I find it aggressive (and candidly unprofessional) if someone says they're going to follow up on our conversation and they don't. Or worse, if they follow up and only talk about themselves. Set aside 90 minutes after the event. Because you've focused on quality interactions, not quantity, you can easily send an email (or even snail mail) each person you met.
What are your thoughts about "aggressive networking" and how to deal with it?
